The first annual Women’s Tango Retreat at Breitenbush Hot Springs was beautiful and intimate far beyond our expectations, and we are deeply grateful for the participation of all who attended. In early December, we welcomed women from Tampa, Denver, Philadelphia, Minneapolis, San Francisco, Portland, St Louis, Phoenix, and Los Angeles for a national gathering spanning three generations of women. In addition to many hours of dancing tango and blissfully stretching in partner yoga, we also shared thoughts on age, community building, and the atmosphere of milongas in the Unites States.
First, Lori Coyle facilitated a series of exercises that increased our appreciation for tango’s potential to help new dancers feel safe in their own bodies. As experienced dancers, mobility is something we often take for granted, but for those who have never had a regular movement practice, long-term tensions and insecurities held in the body can interfere with both physical and emotional health. As influential members of our communities, we are in the position to create safe spaces for others to discover increased physical and emotional comfort, releasing these long-term tensions.
Second, led by Megan Pingree, we reflected on the three concepts of “age” that we each live with: our chronological ages, the ages of our respective tango communities, and our “tango” ages, or the number of years we have been dancing. I found the interplay of these three ages a useful way to understand my relationships with others within tango communities everywhere, and to observe how and why the roles I play change over time. To get a sense of our conversation, imagine what was happening in your life when you began dancing, and what the history of your tango community was at that time. Now reflect on what is happening in your life now, and how long you have been dancing. Has your tango life influenced your chronological life? The other way around?
Finally, the deconstruction of lead and follow gender roles was discussed as a way in which tango dance might be represented more as an artistic activity and less as a metaphor for heterosexual desire. All agreed that the desire metaphor of tango is perfectly fine, but that certain problematic patterns arise when tango is exclusively accessible through this metaphor. For example, when heterosexual desire is the dominant way of relating, youth (primarily in women) and status (primarily in men) are favored, and the environment is competitive. When this desire is one of many choices, skill and openness are favored, and the environment is more collaborative. To get a sense of our conversation, imagine how you feel in a milonga when your dancing is a reflection of your profile as a potential mate. Now imagine how you feel at a milonga when your dancing is a reflection of who you are as a person. What influences your choices of what to wear, who to dance with, how to dance, and who to talk to in each situation?
If you found these brief notes of interest, please pass them on to other tango women in your community, and consider joining us next year at Breitenbush for the 2nd Annual Women’s Tango Retreat: Nov. 28-Dec. 2, 2012. Special thanks to Lisa Ching for the photos!


